This is a long over due post. I know most of you know, but for those of you who don't know, this post is for you. Do you remember when I made vague references to irons in the fire and changes coming? Well those changes are here, and no, I am not pregnant. So I got my nursing license on 30 JUN 2011 and haven't been able to find a job here, or more specifically, Oahu, Lanai, Kauai, Maui, Kwajalein the big island etc..... It is a little saddening when you get rejection letters in the mail almost everyday. They won't hire you without experience, but there is no way to get experience if people won't hire you. This island doesn't make sense in a lot of ways, this is one of them...... Ok, done whining.
I am moving to Texas, my start date for my new job is 05 MAR, and I fly out on my Bday 03 MAR.
I got a super duper job offer from a hospital in a small town outside of San Antonio and I accepted. It sounds like it will be awesome and I am looking forward to starting work as a RN finally. Unfortunately this means that we have to let go of the animals and get the house ready to rent. The goats are already gone and we are trying to find homes for the chickens and the rabbits. The dogs are coming with. It is hard leaving when I think of how hard we worked to get the animals and set up our yard and all of the things we have done to the house. I am just trying not to be sad, a lot of dreams have been put on the shelf. I am trying to think of it as valuable experience gained, and not time lost or energy wasted. Fear is something that I am trying to beat back and deny I have, but really, I am afraid. My biggest fear is that I won't come back, but I am a contrary soul and have a small onrey streak so who knows. The best way to get me to do something is telling me I can't. That is why it took so long for me to decide to move, I kept thinking that if I kept trying, I could find a job. When do you know when to cut your losses and leave? That has always been a challenge for me, knowing when I should just walk away. The last month has shown me that it is time to walk away, and I know this beyond a shadow of a doubt. Leaving Hawaii will be difficult, heart breaking, and all kinds of sad. This isolated and odd volcanic rock in the middle of the Pacific has been home for almost 6 years, it has left its marks on me. I will probably slip up and say "da kine" or my favorite phrase, "no, yeah?"at my new job and get some crazy looks. Maybe I'll get hit with a weird craving for ahi limu poke, spam musubi or the beloved plate lunch with two scoops of white rice and mac salad. I want to say we will come back in the future, but life has shown me that where you think you will be and where you will end up are two very different things. I am just trying to focus on present and not get sucked into a future fantasy life.
The below clip is mini Marzipan snorting at me. we had them in the car and were waiting for the person who purchased them to show up. She snorts when she disapproves of something, kind of snobby if you ask me but oh well. Was it hard to let them go? Yup, it was. I feel confident though that they went ot a good home that won't eat them, so that helps me not feel so bad.
